Unconfident, insecure, hesitant, anxious…these are all symptoms I’ve felt for the past few months but one thing allowed me to overcome all. Faith. At this very moment I sit here in confidence, security, decisiveness, clarity, and still- my faith remains. Many of you are unaware of my recent life events. While some of you may not care, I would like to provide some context to those of you who do. Plus, I enjoy writing and I promise you’ll have something to take away from this once you’re finished.
In December of 2017 I was promoted to Sergeant in the United States Army; which is a great accomplishment. It was never a personal goal for me but it was one of those things that just happened. I put in the time, the effort, and before I knew it I was promoted. From the outside looking in, some believed I was just checking off another goal in a 20+ year career in the military but I assure you that was never the plan. Instead, the promotion only created more confusion and hesitation to pursue my real goals. For those of you who truly know me, know that I never wanted to make the Army a career. It wasn’t that I didn’t enjoy it, it just wasn’t one of those things I had my mind set on.
Throughout my five years I made some friends who became family and some incredible memories. I wouldn’t trade my experiences for anything. Not even the early morning, endless briefs, or the countless hours standing in the same spot wondering what the hell I’m doing with my life. Overall, the Army was a great place for me to grow, discover who I am, and determine what I truly wish to accomplish in my life.
It’s time to separate my dreams from my reality. Ever since I’ve joined the military I’ve had this dream of going to college for something I’m passionate about and something I can do for the rest of my life. Yes, I could have attended while in the military and have a bachelors by now but for so long I would constantly have doubts about myself and my ability. For so long I looked at defining my artistic skill but I determined that I am already proficient in that area and going to school for it would be a little redundant. I needed something that was expansive but also creative.
I explored every inch of my brain, expelling billions of neurons, and finally came upon a discovery in 2016. Those of you who followed me at that time know I was producing numerous works; one of which is writing. I pored my emotions onto paper, people enjoyed it, and I liked doing it. Since then I’ve done some writings here and there and the response is always the same- “You’re such a good writer.” This was only the first part of my discovery.
Since I was a kid I loved creating characters in my head and bringing them to life in my drawings. I made my first fictional character when I was in 2nd grade. This is something I continue to do today but now it isn’t just character building; now it’s world building. When I remembered that I have been doing this close to my entire life and that I’m passionate about it, I discovered that this is what I want to do- world build. At this point it was time to make a decision. Would I continue doing just art? Or would I take a risk and expand into writing?
Now the decision is clear. I have finally taken the leap into becoming more than just an artist. I have to admit, it’s been scary thus far. I’ve made the choice to give up everything to pursue this but I just know in my heart and soul that this is right. I feel that failure is not an option and I know I will encounter numerous setbacks but nothing will keep me from this. I’ve built this dream in my mind that I will start an official studio of my own to write novels/comics, make art, and even a clothing brand. I plan to see this into fruition and I hope you all can help me get there.
Whether you’re in your 40’s or just graduating high school I encourage you all to discover yourself continuously and to never stop growing. Never stop dreaming and be patient. They may take longer to come to life than you wish but the biggest tip of all is: don’t allow others to tear your dreams apart. They will try- even if they don’t mean to. Stand your ground, follow your heart, and most importantly have faith. You only have this one life to live so why not chase your dreams?
Just like one of my favorite quotes by Captain America:“Doesn’t matter what the press says. Doesn’t matter what the politicians or the mobs say. Doesn’t matter if the whole country decides that something wrong is something right. This nation was founded on one principle above all else: The requirement that we stand up for what we believe, no matter the odds or the consequences. When the mob and the press and the whole world tell you to move, your job is to plant yourself like a tree beside the river of truth, and tell the whole world — No, YOU move.” — J. Michael Straczynski, The Amazing Spider-Man #537
So for now I say goodbye to the United States Army and hello to pursuing my passions. Thank you for taking the time to read and I hope you have a good rest of your day!